* In not any order because I am dyslexic and dyspraxia.
1.
You suddenly develop a lifelong attachment to
running socks. If they go missing your mourn their loss, and curse the
fact you have go and buy new ones. *the good ones ain’t cheap BTW.
2.
The emotional wall at mile 11 race day when you
wonder ‘why THE EF am I doing this half marathon, WHY GOD WHY?!!!’. You
start to question your ability to finish the race, because the doggedness to
just put one foot in front of another, is starting to wear thin. This is
the point where you start to dig deep and force your brain to deceive your
body. This is where you employ what I like to call the ‘lying
game’. Look at the landmarks and promise your body you are just going to run
to that lamppost and then you can rest, just keep running to the bin and your
can rest, just keep running to the finish line and you can rest.
3.
The emotional release and/or high that happens
when you finish at mile 13.1 Warning you will probably burst into to
tears. Don’t worry I have seen hardened marathon runners do this year
after year. It’s a normal thing. (Apparently…..if you count only crying
in life after you have run 13 miles or 26 miles.)
4.
You will always remember how the first five
miles of a race you hardly feel, and yet when you train it’s always a sodding
slog.
5.
Although if you can find a running route that is
pretty it makes the run more of a ride, than a slog.
6.
On ‘map my run’ there are a number of dodgey/crazy
routes that I wouldn’t walk with a group of people let alone run in the early
evening. Be aware of your surroundings
and be safe.
7.
Soon your clothing style will slowing revert to
Sweaty Betty, Nike, Adidas clothing et al. Insert your favourite sports brand
here and see yourself wearing it to the pub all the time, much to the amusement
of your friends and other half.
8.
You will develop an unhealthy relationship with
your sports bra dependent on cup size. If you are small you won’t give a
monkeys and own only one. if you are larger you will have several in
varying levels of support worn on a sliding scale of what time of the month it
is.
9.
Don’t be that person who insists on starting
right at the front of the race. That is unless you are a club runner or
Mo Farah. Every single race I enter I see one person who pushes their way
to the front only to start walking by mile 1 in abject humiliation. You don’t
want to be that person, it totally screws with your mental game. Running
in a group in such a tight setting will make you go faster than you are capable
of, if you puff yourself out at the start your really aren’t doing yourself any
favours. I am not the slowest person but I am not the fastest but I
ALWAYS start off at the back. Passing people in a race is much more
confidence boosting than hundreds of people passing you.
10.
Also it will probably be 15mins in the race by
the time you cross the start line, if you can catch up with a pace-maker at 2 hours 15
you know that you are running at a pace of 2hours completion time. Your
time does not start until you cross the start line so don’t worry about the
added time. Make it work for you!
11.
Suddenly all your cotton yoga and work out gear
becomes enemy number one. Why? Once you start running long distance
your clothes get sodden with your sweat. After a couple of miles this
will start to chaff in areas you didn’t think were possible, NICE. Get
some sweat wicking fabric and resign the yoga clothes to yoga or chocolate
eating only.
12.
You will forget how scary a 5k is to non-runners.
It’s just three miles people.
13.
HILLS! Hills are evil, hills are torture.
Come race day, hills are your friends as you know how to make them work to your
advantage. Find one in your local area and try and conquer that bar steward.
Slow and steady upwards, fast as possible downwards for the most energy
efficiency.
14.
Lip balm carry some with you, your mouth is
going to get very dry running around.
15.
Same goes for tissues, nothing worse than
sniffling while running.
16.
Don’t be afraid of the walk, if you need to take
a break walk it out for a bit, rather than damage yourself permanently.
Runners are really a gun-ho lot with their body.
17.
If you feel any pain in the joints or knee
please for the love you God, STOP. Just stop, you can really damage
yourself if you don’t look after your knees. I see those runners
with knee and ankle supports on both legs and I just wonder at what threshold
of pain do they need to get before they stop. You can put yourself in the
position where you can’t walk let along run again. Look after yourself
people.
18.
Stretch all the time. Esp. your calves. This is
something that I am guilty of, but my Husband recommends you stretch every time
you wee. Not while you wee, after obviously unless you have a bladder of
steel then snaps to you.
19.
Before you do a race, some person who has
run the race before you will tell you that there is a ‘MASSIVE’ hill upwards
right at the end. You will start the race and spend most of it worrying
about said ‘hill’. Only to find out the hill was the one that you climbed
at mile 3. Thanks Colin Graham, totally going to get you next time.
“Hmmm Yes Edinburgh Marathon, right at the end they release the zombies to
chase you over the finishing line”
20.
No, no, sadly Robert Downey Jr, Benedict
Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston et al will not be naked and greeting you at the
finishing line. No matter how much you believe…………… (Carrie cries)
21.
Rather surprisingly people will try and downplay
your achievement. Usually these people are non-runners. Who are
secretly jealous that you have done what you said you would do. This
actually happened between myself and my husband after I finished my first half
marathon. He started to tease me about my finish time, and make comments
about how cycling is ‘so much harder’ than running. It still stings a
little remembering it now. After a blazing row that lasted for 20mins,
(directly after running 13miles) I suddenly guessed the source of the
teasing, he was jealous. I said as much and he did apologise, and admit
he was jealous.
22.
A large part of you income will be dedicated to paying
for upcoming races.
23.
A large part of your time will be dedicated to
scheduling in races during the year.
Race for Life is excellent for doing 5k and 10k during the summer.
24.
If you are serious about getting a good time you
should cut the booze a good month before the race. I would like to say I have NEVER been able to
do this, but I am told it does help a lot.
25.
Nice running gear is a good way to encourage you
to go out and run. I am in love with
sweaty betty patterned running tights.
They are literally the most beautiful things I own.
Thank you for reading, would love to hear any tips you may
have?
Carrie x
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