Discounting myself and my achievments...........

Yeah this is one of those posts, the touchy-feeling ones. I think a bunch of you know that I like to torture myself on a regular basis with long runs.   I can’t really explain why I do it but there is definitely something about it that keeps me coming back for more and more.   After completely Hackney half, about a two weeks later I did the 10k Race for life on Blackheath.   I did something really stupid and went out the Saturday afternoon before and have 6 pints with my Husband and a friend.  Completely forgetting that Sunday was a race day.  DOH.

 Needless to say at 9.30am I felt rough as a badger’s bottom, but dragged myself to the start line and, did it and, managed to knock off two minutes my personal best.  I went home that morning very pleased with myself.

 

The hackney run I didn’t smash any person bests simply because I was overwhelmed by the heat and lack of water.  I gained 8 minutes overall and was really disappointed with myself after.  Which is totally ridiculous!  I had just finished a half marathon and didn’t pass out, puke, injury myself.  I am a total machine surely?

 

So why did I feel disappointed?  I think a lot of runners run for pleasure, but there is a large amount of runners out there who just concentrate on beating their time.  I didn’t beat my PB so I felt like a loser instead of a winner.  However I realise this is wrong, and I realise that discounting my achievement is wrong as well.  One thing I didn’t consider is that Hackney Half Marathon may be my last marathon, I may never ever get to run again.  Life is long and full of surprises, so instead of beating myself up for not beating my PB.  Really I should be congratulating myself that I did it.  

Hopefully Hackney is not my last one, as yesterday I just signed up for Wimbledon Half Marathon on the 27^th of July and Ealing Half Marathon on the 28^th of September.  I was being a bit fatalistic to check my attitude, but hopefully you get my drift.

Are any of you have a love affair with running?  Any good races lined up?

Thanks for reading

Carrie x